It had been a month plus and almost two.
Life still goes on as it should be.
Sometime we remember but sometime we forgot.
We talk, we laugh, we smile,
we ignored, we quarrel, we tear.
Everything is always repeating over and over again.
Till now, i think my heart could not take it anymore.
It painful, hurt & terrible.
I don't think you feel the same as me,
because you seem more happy then me perhaps.
Maybe what I seem was not right but that what I could said.
Harsh word repeating over and over again,
you don't feel the pain when you said it?
Do you feel guilty about it?
Do you feel pain after saying it?
Do you feel like tearing?

If you do, then why you repeat it again?
Don't tell me the same reason,
because you were angry that time.
I have feeling too, I swallow back the pain & hurt right inside.
Do you see it?
Do you feel it?
Do you know it?

I said I have become more understanding.
But when we talked awhile more,
you said I'm still not.
Then you think it all my fault ya?
You don't really said much, you think I can understand ya?
You think we're mature enough?
I don't think so at all.
When will somebody able to be mature in just a short while.

You no longer cried, don't you?
You no longer care, don't you?
You no longer there, don't you?
You want to stay like this as you like right?
You want it to be like this for as you wish don't you?
Then please please please boy,
back face me and run as far as you could,
don't turn back anymore.

Because each day, I fall for you more instead forgetting you.
Every time, I fall for you over & over again.
I'm being push away again & again.
Perhaps I put too much hope on you.
I don't know wherever izzet you don't want me to suffer with you,
but if it's this reason,
can you be mature enough to think.
What love is?
The way you doing this, is selfish.
Because you only want me to be happy,
then what about you?
Do you think this way will make me happy?
You're wrong, it does not.
If the reason is not this, then I really have nothing to said.

We become together because we love each other.
We accept each and single thing about each other.
Wherever is bad or good, we still love.
But we're back to square one now.

BOY! BOY! BOY!
You know I still love you a lots,
you know I'm still yearning for your return,
you know I still care so much for you,
you know, don't you?
If you don't feel the same as me,
please don't shake my heart anymore.

Because every time we're alright,
it give me a lots of fake hopes.
It always make me feel, that we will be alright soon.
I'm really falling a part!
It terrible.
I keep waiting for you and you never come.
And I'm trying very hard to move on.

How much tears I had cried for you?
How many time my heart had ache for you?
How many time I had break down cause of you?
How many time I lost my mind because of you?
Countless.

I dare to speak up, telling you.
I really try my best,
wherever you see it or not,
you think I really try or not.
I dare to said, I really try so hard already.
I close my eyes, flashback many stuff.
I still see you in my heart & mind.
I still talk about you during chatting.
I'm proud as I was whenever I talk about the stuff you do for me,
the places we went to,
the memories.
So sweet yet so sour now.

I know I don't bear to.
But now,
I can't figure out what is truth while which is not.
I shall respect the decision you made for our love.
You said "you'll grow a tree, yes a better tree, and you'll be happy"
Remember what you said,
you must grow a better and good tree.

From now on,
don't shake my heart anymore.
I'll try my very best to shut the door that is only for you.
Good memories & bad memories,
it still memories.
Take every memories with you when you're gone.
At least I won't feel so terrible after all.
I don't want my life being screw up by you, and your fake hope love.
Because I don't want my love for you to goes on,
if only me putting effort to save this r/s.
But one thing I know it truth,
we once really enjoy our love life ^^
And of course, I do love you so much.
"I miss you & I love you",
what I always said to you.
I never lie about it, it true.

I got a question but yet I still don't know the answer till now.
The question is,
"Fatty, why I love you so much?"